Now it's time for another exciting episode of your favourite super hero... it's:
It was another lazy weekend afternoon in the Space Baron and Brian's flat. The birds were chirping and the trees were rustling as if in unison with the birds. The Space Baron was lying in the sun on the small patio which looked out over the highway. Brian was lying next to him, looking at the Space Baron.
"It's a nice peaceful afternoon isn't it?" Said Brian, an element of sadness in his voice. "We haven't had a single call from an important person in danger, don't you find that a bit odd?"
"Not a bit!" The Space Baron's strong voice pierced the calmness of the afternoon, "That big pile up on the highway that I've been watching all afternoon has prevented any bad-guys from going out to do their evil deeds."
Brian sighed, "Yeah, it's good to get a day off once in a while isn't it?"
Space Baron replied, in the same manner as Brian, with the narration BEFORE what he said, "Yes, nothing could possibly ruin this day."
When they finished talking there was complete silence again, broken only by the occasional far off agonized scream of the people on the highway.
"Ahem!" The Space Baron cleared his throat, "I said: NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY RUIN THIS DAY"
Just then, almost on cue, there came a knock at the door. The Space Baron leapt from his folding chair, because it had folded on him and it hurt, while Brian went to see who it could be.
Brian opened the door and said, "Who could you be?"
In the doorway stood a burly deliveryman. "I ha'nt got time fer ye styupid lit'le games sonny!" he said. "I've a d'liv'ry fer a Space Barin."
"Yes that's me," Said the Space baron who took the package that was given to him and closed the door.
"I wonder what this could be?" mused the Space Baron as he turned the box over and over.
"Happy Birthday!" shouted Brian, "I got you this for your birthday! Open it! Open it!"
"It isn't my birthday," said the Space Baron, but Brian obviously had not heard him. He was in such a state of excitement that Space Baron didn't want to hurt his feelings, plus it would have meant more pointless dialogue, so he opened the gift.
"Do you like it?" asked Brian. "It's a time machine! Now you can travel through time.
The Space Baron was bemused. "There's no such thing as a time machine you silly thing." he said.
But Brian was too taken up in the gift. "Try it out, try it out!" he urged.
The Space Baron stepped into the time machine and tried to figure out how to set it. "How do I go back to that time that the President of the world got gassed in that underground chamber?" he asked.
"Um... you can't actually go BACK in time," Brian said, "Only forward."
"What's the point of that!" Space Baron demanded, unhappy that he couldn't use the time machine because he would never get back again.
"Well you could go forward in time and retire in a better world." Brian suggested. "And I could be the new super hero in our time."
The Space Baron didn't agree but it was to no avail, Brian had already twisted all the relevant dials and pressed all the rest of the buttons. There was a big quiet sort of a noise and the Space Baron stood there as nothing happened.
"There, what was that like?" Asked Brian.
"What the hell are you on about, nothing happened!" said Space Baron, exasperated.
"You travelled forward in time by about five seconds!" exclaimed Brian excitedly.
"But how long did it take!" demanded the Space Baron.
"Ummm..." Brian realised he had been ripped off, "about 5 seconds..."
The Space Baron dumped the time machine in the garbage and smacked Brian on the back of the head pretty hard.
Thus ends another not quite so exciting episode of the Space Baron.